She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
