Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
