Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
