some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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