Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
