YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize