i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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