HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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