i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize