The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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