drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
