I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
