Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
