Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
