Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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