i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Too much gin, very little bucket
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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