How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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