I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
