It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
