Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
