I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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