Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
