he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
