I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
