I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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