can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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