I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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