he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
