i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just found a bag of teeth...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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