They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
