That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
