found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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