Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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