You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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