Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
