It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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