can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
