kristin has been a bad kristin
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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