You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
babies were throwing up all over the place
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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