is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
