pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
