i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
