There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
