i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
