What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
