Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize