he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
