I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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