Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
