No stitches, just platelets and will power
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
