Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize