I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
