Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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