My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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