You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
