Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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