I never want to see another naked old woman again.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
The adults are the big ones right?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
