shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
never play flip cup with pint glasses
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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