Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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