you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
