yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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